Stephen, when you get through showing them to their rooms, go fetch Hildi. TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL NIGGER! May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold? WHAT'S IT GONNA BE DOC? HUH? WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE? TAKE THIS GODDAMNED HAMMER HERE, AND BEAT HER ASS TO DEATH WITH IT! RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH YA'LL! THEN WE CAN EXAMINE THE THREE DIMPLES INSIDE BROOMHILDA'S SKULL! NOW. WHATEVER I SO DESIRE!Īnd if y'all think my price for this nigger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property. is $12,000.Īnd I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation? And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price. and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right nigger. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right nigger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this nigger-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her ass down!ĭr. Even after all that paper signin', don't mean shit you don't shake my hand.Īnd if I don't shake your hand, you're gonna throw away $12,000? I don't think so! Never the less, here in Chickasaw County, a deal ain't done till the two parties have shook hands. Then I'm afraid I must insist in the opposite direction! It implies good faith.īut you are in my house, Doctor! So, I'm afraid I must insist. It's a custom here in the South once a business deal is concluded that the two parties shake hands. Mister Candie, normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye! But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben. Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility. of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. He slays the dragon, because he's not afraid of him. He scales the mountain, because he's not afraid of it. Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. Unless a hero arises brave enough to save her. And he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain. It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. Anyways, Her father is really mad at her. She was a daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?įor a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django? Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell. He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so. Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
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